How to Handle People Who Are Enraged at You

It can happen virtually anywhere with anyone, at work with your boss, at home with your mother-in-law or in traffic with that mad taxi driver. People start shouting at you or won't talk with you for a while, make offensive gestures, threaten to beat you up. How do you handle it civilly? 

Steps

1. Stay calm. Any angry person can cause a chemical reaction within you that could make the situation worse.
2. Assess the reason why the person is angry at you. Try to put yourself in their shoes. What if they would have done to you what you did to them? Don't be afraid to admit you did injustice to them. It's an act of courage, as long as it doesn't become a habit.
3. Accept the fact that this person is angry with you, regardless of if it's true or not, let them vent, stand back, don't get in their way. Show them you actually listen to what they say. This may already be part of the solution. Normally people will calm down if they see you have a sincere interest in what they say. Communication is the keyword.
4. Time heals. Hurt feelings can make people unable to reason well. Many people react when they are angry by avoiding the person they are angry with for a while. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It gives time to reflect and in many cases we just then realize how much we care about the other. In quicker situations, try to follow the previous steps and stretch out time as best you can without being obvious.
5. Break the loop. Angry people can often repeat themselves when they aren't thinking rationally or think you don't get what they mean. Find a way to stop the repetition by telling them you understand, repeating what they said in another way, or by simply changing the subject slightly.
6. Give up for now if the person is still angry with you even though you think it isn't your fault and you tried to tell them that. If it's a stranger you might tell them you're sorry in any case and just get on. It's more useful and easier to educate people you know than a stranger you might not ever see again. In quicker situations this may very well be the only option. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.
   
   

Tips

• Kill them with kindness. It's hard to continue being angry at someone who is agreeing with them sincerely.
• Don't apologize to appease them. If they find out your apology is insincere their anger may get worse.
• Try to explain your position on the issue.
• With that persons permission, consult someone else like an elder or other respectable person, who can give you an objective point of view.

Warnings

• Don't resort to violence! This can lead to legal action and that is only good for lawyers, nobody else.
• If you suspect aggressive behavior from the angry person, step back. Be ready for defense or backing out. Your Safety comes above getting your way.